Smrtz

Farting Men
A MySpace Friend Posted: "What is the deal, boys, with your farting? If you really can't hold it, beeline for the bathroom!"
My Smartass Response (or what I will dub from now on, Smrtz): I saw a respectable report on this very issue in a current event manner in which they mention holding will eventually make you spontaneuously combust. Now who wants that to happen! That informative show? South Park.

MySpace Top 8
MySpace Post: "...so if you are NOT on top 8, don't message me, bitching me out about it...i don't want to hear it!"
Smrtz: Oh, but you gotta hear this...Hey, you don't have any complaints here! I am happily number 9 on the Top 8...There isn't any pressure and that suits me just fine...I can blend in with the crowd and nobody will ever know that I let one rip.

Blunt-Beautiful
MySpace Post: "I'm sorry Mr. Blunt (sings the song, "Beautiful"), but you did not find a fan in this consumer. Maybe if you let your voice out of your sinuses, let it echo a little more throughout your other resonating cavities, then I'd be able to stand hearing it."
Smrtz: Sinuses! So, that's what it is...I just thought someone kicked him in the nuts and he was making up a song as a distraction from getting kicked again...